So I've only written a few blogs on Mr. Quin's blog partly because of laziness, partly forgetting about it, and partly the idea of not being funny/informative (strong possibility). But having read his recent excerpts from his time in Cocktail U (THE UUUUU), I am ashamed and enlightened to let you know that I also attended this 14 days of hell. Mine was in Tewksbury which was 10 mins from my apartment at the time so I guess it could've been worse. I won't get into a full breakdown of this experience but wanted to make it a point to speak about my roommate.
This gentlemen was an oversized man who, as intimidating as he was at first (6'4", at least 260), I immediately detected a "bull-shit" factor with him and that he had a Dr. Suess level of story-telling in him. This was evident after Day #1. Not sure if SQ mentioned how shitty Day 1 was but I must say it was the worst day of my adult life. After checking, waiting, then filling out the paper work, waiting, meeting the nurse about health stuff, then waiting some more... Finally ending up in the most important room in the building to the DUIL folk, the payment part. You then wait more, get assigned a room with your belongings that were sifted through, chucked into a nasty sleeping bad-type bags, and waiting a little more before you were assigned your room. Finally, I was like "nice, whether there's a dude there or not, I will lay down for the 20 mins we were given as a break, and savor every minute. I walked in to see Shrek (that's what I call him now circa 2013, Shrek), laying on the bottom bunk (fucker) and waiting to annoy someone. Shrek was friendly and actually made me feel comfortable because he appeared cool and didn't want to be there just as much as me. Only problem? Shrek talked my fucking ear off like I was Donkey waiting to get his opinions on the world.
After a long day of bullshit and the last meeting of the head counselers pretty much telling us we were in their house and it was their rules and we were fucked, and blah blah blah... it was time for "free time" on our floor prior to lights out. I met a couple of cool guys my age that could be somewhat conversational through these 14 long days. But by lights out, I was nearly sleeping... And then.... Shrek starting talking, and talking about everything one person could possibly talk about.
Not to drag on with this post (too late), but Shrek had a theory that he claims: "Believe me, I know people in positions of power that know these are facts". I'm talking about the fact that the government can control the natural disasters our world encounters every year, some bigger than others. They can control deadly earthquakes, volcano eruptions, tornadoes and tidal waves, etc. You get the picture, this motherfucker claimed it was the gov't controlled this so they can control the population by having people die in these natural disasters, so the world doesn't get overpopulated. I am as awestruck as anyone reading this (anyone?). This, and the fact that the still in power Nazi organization still exists and counsels our gov't to make this over-population theory acted upon. This dude claims that there is an alien lifeform that the gov't controls and that they can control these weather systems, and can make them as bad as they want, but the Nazi's are very much still in place (I'm not talking neo-Nazi extremist groups, but actual persons of power a-la Hitler).
So after 60 mins of trying to sleep, and me occassionally asking if he was fucking with me and asking follow up questions to see if he'd finally admit he was fucking with me... He then goes on to... I finally fall asleep. A few more nights of this psychotic babble eventually led me to my best defense: pretending to sleep. He'd be like "you asleep?" and I would not answer pretending to sleep, which led him to SHUT THHHHEEEE FUCK UPPPPP!
My only satisfying point to the entire 14 days was stepping down my shady ladder they provided to get off the top bunk to go and piss, and "accidentally" stepping on Shrek's shin only to have him wake with a screech and a "fuckkk mannnn". I did this 3 more times with the same results.
Finally, as freedom day came he asked me to give him a ride to a train station so he could get to Boston and buy new clothes and do god knows what. I sucked it up and had my girlfriend (literally a saint), drive this asswipe to the commuter rail for him to catch a train. Upon arriving I told him his train was 10 mins away and he wanted the "outbound" train.
As we drove away, I sat back in the car seat only to feel a sense of satisfaction know this story-telling Oger would be heading to Lowell with about an hour wait.
I also learned alot that week, but the most important was that some people live in a different reality, even if its a parallel universe of old acid trips and ideas of Nazi-aliens controlling our natural disasters.
Damn I need a drink (with NO driving) :)
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