For instance, at 12PM today I decided that it was lunch time. I had two pieces of pizza. My initial thought was one of, "I'm going to destroy this first piece without any sacrilegious feelings."
The next piece made me pause and ruminate over whether I can convince the heavens that pepperoni isn't really a meat. I've had success in the past with bologna, hot dogs, and almost made a convincing argument for a surf n turf meal a few years ago. That one didn't end well as my penance was an upset stomach (code for the shits).
Then again, I also think that God & Lucifer are both looking upon me with their beady omnipotent eyes and simultaneously thinking, "He can have him."
I firmly believe this is why I'm still alive right now. I annoy both worlds so much that they aren't ready for me yet.
I've drawn another of my masterpieces illustrating this:
