One of the many things I do not miss about my old job is my desk's location. I had the displeasure of having an office that was situated in such a way that juuuuust outside of it was a seemingly unassuming filing cabinet. Nothing flashy, a few books and perhaps a plant at times. However, there were three extremely flattering features about this filing cabinet:
1) Allowed for ease of access with three entry points so it was a high traffic area
2) It was near my office and apparently I'm a magnet for miserable inane conversations
3) Perfect height for food placement
These 3 facts made for a nightmare environment to work in. It was the single reason I quit the job.
Conversations usually went:
Story teller: "Did you hear that (fill in person I don't know nor care about) had a (insert too much information) and then (insert something horrific happening)?"
Responder: "GASP! (insert feigned expression of empathy, usually 'Are they OK?')"
That Story Teller would do the rounds 17 times and I'd have to hear it EVERY time. What made it worse is that Story Teller double dipped on certain people and told the story again and again...and again. Why would they linger? Because there was food on the goddamn table.
Anyway...that's a rant for another day. My point is the actual food being put on the cabinet and what it does to people.
For instance, one time someone bought donuts. Of course everyone, upon hearing the plastic crinkle of the Dunkin Donuts bag, comes swarming like a pack of vultures and/or hyenas.
As you can see from my well crafted picture it is like Armageddon when food is available.
Again, that table is right outside my office so all I could hear was screeching, cackling, and a bunch of jockeying for position. There's always someone who establishes themself as the alpha male and gets the prime choice followed by the rest of the lot who get the scraps.
Here's my gripe about this particular occassion. Although it was REALLY nice of them to get the donuts(doughnuts?) which I don't eat anyway, but what on earth compels people to buy the old fashioned ones and the lemon filled ones? NO one eats them and they usually are thrown away or given to the vagrants who will literally eat anything.
If you only wanted to buy 9 donuts then that’s all you should have bought. Buy a real dozen next time with all the chocolate, powder, and sprinkle fixings.
