Ma and Pa drop me off in their dapper outfits. They get the strangest stares out of everyone
because they are dressed so nice. Inquiring
eyes immediately fall on me and I can’t shake the feeling that I have been designated
the preppy bitch. I have to concoct a
plan to beat the shit out of someone so I won’t be labeled as a fish the entire
time I’m here. As I scan the crowd for a
person that is vulnerable (i.e. someone with needles sticking out of their arm
and drugged up so I can easily mop the floor with them) I don’t see anyone that
fits this description so I figure I’m basically screwed.
Check in
goes well with Carl Winslow from “Family Matters”. We have healthy banter, and I realize that I
could have snuck in whatever contraband I wanted because they weren’t really
checking bags with as much gusto as I thought they would. Mom and Dad check their watches and shift
uncomfortably in their seats while I’m going through this process. I actually forgot they were even there,
whoops. I tell them to leave which they
more than gladly do. In fact, I have
never seen my father out a door so quickly in my life. What ever happened to the traditional Irish
good byes?
After I get
my blood pressure taken I make a note to myself to stop eating cheeseburgers
before physicals. The next step is to
wait for the nurse interview. Everybody
ahead of me is taking 20 minutes so I’m starting to get nervous about rubber
gloves and odd body searches because people are coming out of there
grimacing. Not to mention I saw the
nurse and she reminded me of Mrs. Babcock, my nurse from elementary school, so
I couldn’t even derive the faintest bit of excitement about going into that
“office” (I put it in quotes because it was actually the recreation room with a
ping pong and air hockey table. Something just isn’t right when you have a
physical examination in a room with air hockey in it).
I get in and out of there in 2 minutes. She just asked me a few questions about my
medical history and that’s it. The whole
ordeal left me thinking, “What, I’m not good enough for a 20 minute full body cavity search
now?” I feel a little cheated now, but
life goes on. Note for the future of
this journal: I wish I hadn’t turned down the red dot that lets you ride the
elevator. That would turn out to be an enormous
error on my part.
I travel up
the 5 flights of stairs, get settled in my room, pay my bill, meet my cuckoo
roommate, and go to the common room to await further instructions. After everybody has checked in we all go down
to dinner for a very appetizing meal of American Chop Suey (insert sarcasm here). Shortly after dinner we congregate back in
the common room for basic orientation and an overview of what to expect in the
next couple of weeks. Not so
surprisingly, I fall asleep during this schpiel.
After all of this is over it is time for
bed. I am relegated to listening to my
roommate snore like a banshee. I swear
he sounds like he is swallowing his mouth and now I can’t sleep.
(2013 Note: I think this is where I caught my snore and why I am relegated to wearing a sleep mask now. Snoring is contagious, look it up)
No comments:
Post a Comment